Positive thoughts on Adoption for Kaylee’s Birthday
In honor of Kaylee’s birthday today, I went on with my regular day. I had my regular four classes which I attended, but I then went to dinner to celebrate her birthday. Some years I really dread this day…but today I am pretty neutral. I used to get pretty emotional but I think that it really comes with every year gets a little bit easier. When people told me that it would get easier…I really questioned it, but now I accept that statement.
Over the past year I have come across different quotes or song lyrics that I can relate to adoption. One of them is the song from Hello Dolly which is called “It Only Takes A Moment“. This is one of my absolute favorite Broadway Musicals of all time. I tend to watch the movie a couple times a year either by catching it on tv or popping in my Hello Dolly dvd. Part of the lyrics go like this:
“It only takes a moment
For your eyes to meet and then
Your heart knows in a moment
You will never be alone againI held her for an instant
But my arms felt sure and strong
It only takes a moment
To be loved a whole life long…”
How fitting these lyrics are for any birth-mother feels the first time they hold their child after a very long and hard labor. I know though that this is a feeling that any adoptive parent feels too, when they are able to hold their adoptive child in their arms. How lucky the birth-child is to grow up in adoption as they have two whole families who loves them!! The rest of us only have one set of family members.
Another quote that I love is from the beloved characters of Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh. Christopher Robin once said to Winnie the Pooh:
“Promise me you’ll always remember that you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
I have loved this quote for some time. Think about that this is what we say in our hearts to our children once they are placed into an adoption. I know secretly they may be thinking the same thing even if they can not express it as an infant.
Also, a friend of mine left me a quote today on my Facebook wall. I am not too sure who wrote it…but I wanted to share this as well. I believe that it comes from the Many Hearts One Beat website who is very pro-adoption.
“Through this journey, your heart was the heart of quiet strength. It will forever beat, each day, every moment, with that quiet strength. Through this journey, your heart was the heart of tremendous courage in its purest form. It is in this courage your heart spoke and a profound decision was made. Through this journey, your heart was the heart that broke with deep sadness. It is a grief born of such complete and unconditional love for your child. Through this journey, your heart was the heart that was selfless and took faith. It is in this trust you gently rested your child’s heart. Through this journey, your heart was the heart that broke as you watched your child go. It is evermore that you will hold your child’s heart close…and never let go. You have gracefully traveled this difficult path with strength, courage and dignity. It is often, I will stop, give pause…and honor you. Through this journey, your heart was the heart that quietly guided all others together. It is now that the journey of many hearts at last, beat as one…”
So here’s to you Kaylee…
“Happy Birthday and know that I will always love you, no matter where we are in this universe.”
“What is Your Favorite Flavor of Tea?”
One of my favorite scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail is when they are at the Bridge of Death and have to answer questions. My favorite part of that scene is when Galahad is asked what his favorite color. Read below to remember how that went…
BRIDGEKEEPER: Stop! What is your name?
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your quest?
GALAHAD: I seek the Grail.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your favorite color?
GALAHAD: Blue. No yel– auuuuuuuugh! [ explodes and dies ]
Now imagine if Galahad would have had to choose his favorite flavor of tea. What would he have said? Would he have said Lipton’s Plain Black Tea and then realized he meant to say Twinings Royal Blend?
Last month, when I was at a tea event, one of my friends said, “Since our group has been in session for a year now I wonder how our tastes for tea have changed?” This got me thinking and figured that this month would be the perfect month to post my thoughts in honor of National Hot Tea Month.
A year and a half ago you would find me only drinking possibly three different flavors, Tazo Awake, and just about any brand of English Breakfast and Irish Breakfast. Now after being involved with my own tea group and the bad tea group where I was removed, I have opened my eyes to the different brands and flavors of tea.
So if the Bridgekeeper asked me what my favorite flavor was I would tell him that I have several favorites at this time and that I could not choose. I am sure this would be unacceptable and I would then probably be shoved off the bridge to explode and die. Good thing this is not Monty Python!!
I think to start an analysis of my tea drinking experience, I should start with Black Teas. Black Teas are good for a good caffeine jolt or a good strong flavor. Like I said, in the past I would normally plop a tea bag of English or Irish Breakfast in my hot water and call it good. Now I stand in my kitchen and ponder which brand and flavor I am going to have (I really have become a tea snob). In my tea collection right now I have several different flavors of Black Tea. Harney & Sons Paris, Harney & Sons Chocolate Mint, Twinings Prince of Wales, Twinings English Breakfast, Twinings Irish Breakfast, Tazo Awake, Lipton Black Pearl, Lipton Vanilla Caramel Truffle, and I have several brands of an Afternoon Tea. So that makes how many black teas? 1, 2, 3…a grand total of at least 9 different types of black tea. I though over the past year and a half have tried other types of black tea that I do very much enjoy. One of my favorite tea flavors to order at Sweet Shalom is called Selah. I am not too sure who makes the tea as I thought it was Harney & Sons, but I could be wrong. The next time I go to Sweet Shalom I will have to take a look at the box!! Other black teas you can find me sipping are: Queen Catherine, and Darjeeling.
One tea that you will not find in my home collection of teas is Green Tea. I know…green tea is all good for you, but I can not stand the taste. Any type of tea that tastes like I am drinking the floor of a forest or fresh mowed grass is not for me. I nod my head to anyone who does like it…have a cup for me!
I learned about Rooibos teas this past year. I went to a tea tasting and this was one type of tea that I was very excited to try. Rooibos is an African tea that actually comes from a bush. Most teas come from trees and the leaves (tea leaves) are dried and rolled to be steeped in hot water. Rooibos is an African for Red Bush. Rooibos teas are caffeine free and tend to be blended with very sweet flavors. I have two Rooibos flavors in my collection here at home. One is a tea that I bought down in the French Quarter of New Orleans. The flavor is very fitting for the area (no, it is not called drunken chaos, but that would be funny!) called Bourbon Street Vanilla. It is very light sweet, and yet refreshing. This tea would be perfect to sip while enjoying an evening dessert. The other tea that I have is Teavanna Blueberry Bliss. Very sweet and could be served either hot or as an iced tea. This is one of my mother-in-law’s favorite flavors that she has at her house, thanks to me being a good daughter-in-law and sharing my tea with her! Most Rooibos teas are served with desserts due to their sweet flavors. My favorite rooibos teas have been the chocolate flavored teas. So good that you about don’t need any added sugar to your cup!
I as well have a few herbal teas, which are good if you are looking for something a bit on the light side. The herbal teas that I have are Teavanna Strawberry Lemonade, Harney & Sons Raspberry Herbal, and then one called Blue Eyes (this one doesn’t have a brand name since I bought it at the tea shop down in the French Quarter).
This past year to year and a half, it surprises me how many new flavors I have come to learn and love. I do challenge myself to get a different flavor each time I go to a tea house which is normally at least once a month if not twice a month. I give all of you tea drinkers a challenge. Try one new flavor each month as your New Years Resolution! I think that you will develop a liking to new flavors that you may have never thought of trying before!
So as you can see, I think it would be difficult for me to tell the bridgekeeper my favorite flavor of tea!! I think that it would have to depend on my mood that I was in, but I do think that it would end up being a black tea.
BRIDGEKEEPER: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Amy the Tea Lover: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your name?
Amy the Tea Lover: My name is Madame Amy the Tea Lover of Olmsted.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your quest?
Amy the Tea Lover: To seek the world of tea.
BRIDGEKEEPER: What is your favorite tea flavor?
Amy the Tea Lover: At this moment Harney & Son’s Paris
BRIDGEKEEPER: Oh that sounds like a lovely bloody flavor! Right. Off you go.
Amy the Tea Lover: Yes, why thank you. It is an awesome flavor and you should try it today while you sit for your Afternoon Tea which will be around 2pm.
The best cat ever…
This is not what I thought I would be blogging on the second day of this new year. My mom sent me a text tonight to let me know that the 17.75 year old family cat, Freddy, has entered into cat heaven. He had been suffering with a chronic cat disease which basically was Pancreatitis & Gastritis. Tonight the pain limit hit the ceiling and my mom and brother had to make the hard choice and put him down. He had been ill for awhile and over the past 3 weeks he had gotten worse.

I remember the day that my family got Fred and Barney. It was late August in 1993 and was right around my mom’s birthday. My family had went to Fudrucker’s for dinner and decided to walk over to the pet store before headed home. In the window were these two super rambunkous gray and white tabby kittens that were just so cute. One was smaller than the other that had a little crooked tail. My mom and us kids fell and love!! My mom asked the clerk if the kittens were related and they had said yes. Well instead of going home with one kitten we went home with TWO!!!
One the way home we started to think of names for the kittens. My sister and I wanted fun names, but ultimately the names my brother chose won. He chose Fred & Barney from the Flinstone’s due to just seeing the movie in the theatre. My sister and I didn’t really care for the names, but over time…the cats lived up to their names for sure! Barney was the smaller one with a crooked stump tail and Fred (aka Freddy-boy) was the one with a longer tail. Fred though didn’t have a super long tail as both cats were a Tabby/Manx mix.
The two cats were well very hyper and would race up and down the long hallway that stretched from the dining room to the back of the Ranch style house that I pretty much grew up in. While laying in bed one would think that there were two race horses in the house because of how fast they sounded. Such fun and crazy cats. Barney though only lived for about five to six years. He developed a blood clot which became loose and stopped at the start of his hind legs. This prevented him from being able to move his back legs. Mom took him to the vet and the vet said she had two options. Spend thousands of dollars on a surgery that may or may not work or well put the cat down. Due to the very low chance that the surgery would work…we quickly became a one cat family. Fred did as any other cat would do and mourned in his own way for the brother that was now missing.
Fred lived such a great life. My sister and I would dress him and Barney up in doll clothes and take pictures. Fred always was the grouchy looking cat in the pictures were Barney could really care less. Well, he probably cared…but he put up with it. Fred was also the brat of the family. He would see that you were trying to read the newspaper and would come over to lay on it. He then would look at you with the basic cat look of, “What?? Now in order to read the paper you must go through me!” He always knew when my mom or anyone else came home. He would be there at the door crying when you came home as if he was abandoned all day. He was fed a Fancy Feast type of wet food treat everyday at 5pm. He always got upset when daylight-savings time came around and thought we were the meanest people ever to not feed him!
Oh Freddy-boy you will be missed.
Some people can’t wait to get rid of cats, but you were a cat that one never wanted to let go. We all know you are out of your pain and now are showing Barney who the fastest cat is again. Maybe you will meet Missy the cat (also known as Baby Moo Moos) who was my friend’s cat who just entered Kitty Heaven, and maybe you will meet your cousin Frankie who went to kitty heaven while living in Germany.
So for those of you who have pets…give them their love they they require because one day they will not be around.
No Hatters Celebrate National Hot Tea Month
January is known for many things. Each month has different national holidays that were all approved by Congress. Some of the month long holidays for the month of January are: National Bath Safety Month, National Blood Donor Month, National Braille Literacy Month, National Hobby Month, National Oatmeal Month, National Soup Month, and Hot Tea Month.
The No Hatters will definitely take advantage of
Hot Tea Month!
This month, the No Hatters have three events planned. I am not participating this month at many of the events due to other things going on, but that will not stop me from partaking in having a cup of tea each day or every couple of days!!
The main event for the No Hatters this month is out at Sweet Shalom in Sylvania, Ohio. This month’s featured tea event out at Sweet Shalom is in the theme of a Scottish Tea. The No Hatters who will attend this tea will partake in sipping different teas and indulging in many different types of food. The menu consists of an oat scone, Chicken & Leek Soup, Cucumber Tea Sandwiches, Flaky Meat Pies, Oatcakes with Cheese Pate’, Smoked Salmon & Dill Egg Salad Tea Sandwiches, Caramel Chocolate Bars, Gingerbread with Drambuie Sauce (which basically is a buttery brandy sauce), and end the awesome event with a Tipsy Laird Trifle (which is a sponge cake layered with a custard).
Another event will be the quarterly Tea Tasting out at The Village Herb Shop in Chagrin Falls, Ohio. If you like to try different teas with out having to buy several cups of tea, then an event like this is perfect. Every No Hatter who has attended this quarterly event has very much enjoyed themselves.
The last event that the No Hatters will partake in is out at Cast on Cafe. Cast on Cafe is a small knitting shop out in Willoughby, Ohio. Inside this knitting shop they have a small cafe that offers teas and coffees. The group will go out and enjoy a very reasonable priced Afternoon Tea.
If you are not in the area to join the No Hatters with their events, please take up and enjoy several cups of tea at home. Try new flavors that you have always wanted to try or revert back to your old favorites that may take you back to your childhood.
Open Adoption Roundtable #33: Adoption in 2011
The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It’s designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don’t need to be listed at Open Adoption Bloggers to participate or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you’re thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table. The prompts are meant to be starting points–please feel free to adapt or expand on them.
Adoption Round Table #33: “What did you learn about open adoption in 2011?”
To read more answers click here .
I find this question a very fitting way on how to reflect on this past year. I could have reminesct on what I had done for the past year, but I had done that pretty much already with my holiday newsletter and we all know that there is much more to life than just vacations and school, to me.
So what did I learn about open adoption this past year? Well I learned that I need to get my gifts out sooner than later for when I send Kaylee stuff. I regret to say that her Christmas gifts are still sitting here in my house waiting to be sent out.
I learned that open adoption never gets any easier when it comes to emotions. I think that in the past almost eight years I have learned what my emotional triggers are, but there are some that will always pop up that I am not aware of. A new song will appear on the radio by an artist that will take me back to the time that I was in labor with Kaylee. I think that one of my favorite songs of this past year that really explains adoption is by Kenny Chesney. It is not a new song…but it is one that I heard several times through out the year when I least expected it. The song is “There Goes My Life“, which gets me teary every time I hear it. I normally would hear it on my way to work or to a social event and my make up would have to be touched up before leaving the car due to the tears that may have worked themselves loose.
I learned that it never gets any easier trying to explain to people about open adoption. Some people are willing to listen and some have their minds set on what a typical open adoption will or would always look like. I have met quite a few of new people over the past year. I have my adoption story posted here on the site and a link to it on my Facebook page. I forget sometimes that I have it posted until a classmate that I have made friends with says to me, “Hey…I read your adoption placement story last night and you had me in tears by the end.” But when the adoption comes up at a dinner table with a large group of ladies (which I love most of the time), it does catch me off guard. I don’t mind explaining my experience…but I do notice the facial expressions that people pass from one to another even if they don’t even realize they are passing an uncomfortable expression to the person across the table.
I learned from talking with other birth-mothers that the adoption plan that i have is very good. I realized this when I was at the Birthmother’s Retreat that was held in Charlotte, NC. I loved meeting women from all over the countries and hearing their stories. I learned also with doing the 2011 Interview project that a nomadic-birth-mom was very eeager to talk to another birthmom who had been down the road several years from her.
Lastly, I learned that even still…almost eight years later, open adoption was still the best choice I made at the time. I know that extended family members told my mom differently, but it was ultimately my own choice on what I needed to do. At that time and place, placing Lil Miss into an open adoption was the best thing I could have done considering I had no job and was living with my parents. I am grateful still everyday for D & N for caring for her and giving her the best home one could ask for!!
So that is what I have learned about open adoption this past year. I will be curious to see what I learn this coming year, for sure!!
Adoption Interview Project 2011: Rachel from The Great Wide Open
The time has come to reveal who I was paired with for this years Adoption Interview Project which is put on by Heather at Production Not Reproduction. I have participated with different blog challenges from Heather before as she heads up the Adoption Roundtable discussions. This allows bloggers who are involved of all aspects of the adoption world to post their feelings about a certain chosen topic either once a week or sometimes once a month. This month is the Adoption Interview Project. If I would have known about this last year, I would have definitely participated as it was an incredible fun experience. Every participant was randomly paired. If one had special request such as wanting to be paired with a certain side of the adoption triad then that was taken into consideration. I had made a request to be paired with a birth-mother who hopefully I didn’t already know. I think next year I will not put in any request to see what part of the triad I am paired with.
This year I was paired with Rachel from The Great Wide Open. Heather is a nomadic birth-mother who blogs about her nomadic life, adventures of pregnancy and now open adoption. By just reading her blog tag line made me intrigued and kept me digging into her blog to see who she is. She likes to go to poem jams to express her feelings of adoption through her poetry. She currently lives and works in Singapore while enjoying being single. She enjoys the feeling of being single but is not opposed down the road of possibly meeting the “right” person to be a life-long companion.
While introducing ourselves to each other, Rachel and I found that we had quite a few things in common. We both love reading books that do not consist of textbooks, we both are actively with groups on Meetup.com, and we both wanted to pursue a degree in Social Work. She has a BSW but does not use it, and as we are all aware, I am in the pursuit to hang the BSW degree on my office wall someday in the future. She and I also love to travel.
I had a fun time thinking of questions to ask Rachel. When I had thought about sending these fun questions, I failed to save the document on the computer (one disadvantage of not using pen and paper!), and so I had to recreate the questions. I hoped that Rachel wouldn’t think that I was sending random questions, and she stated that I had a great variety of questions. Heather never placed a limit on how many questions we had to ask our partners. Rachel and I both sent each other fifteen different questions. To see the answers that I gave her you will have to click over on her page to read all about them.
Below is the interview that I conducted with Rachel. I hope you all enjoy reading them as much as I did.
1. Out of all the different places you have lived what has been your favorite? What place would you go back to? What was your least favorite place?

Man In the Mirror and English
Most days for my ENG 102 class, it is a complete waste of time to be in class. Today was no different as we were not going to do much. The adjunct instructor (Mohawk , which is what a friend of mine and I call him – since he actually has a mohawk) who teaches the class tries to be cool and relate to the eighteen year old kids in the class, but he just comes off as a weirdo.
At one point in class he started up his iTunes and asked what song should be our “class” song. He randomly starts playing songs until he comes to Michael Jackson’s “Man In the Mirror”. He starts to play the file with the volume being on the low side and the continues on with his lecture. I don’t know if it is just my own attention span, but how can one sit and listen to someone who is lecturing when there is a song with lyrics on at the same time? I can understand choosing a song that may be classified in the Classical or Ambient music genre, as most of the time there is no lyrics with those.
I look forward to being done with this class. He told us that our assignment for today was to use a dash in our next paper which is due on Tuesday. A dash is something that is not commonly used in a formal paper as it brings the paper down from being very formal. So now I sit here looking at my paper and wonder how in the world I will be able to add this stupid little dash into the paper as it is perfect the way it is.
So here I leave you with MJ’s Man In the Mirror, as I do like this song. Thanks to Mohawk I know have this song running through my head. I am sorry to you if this song gets stuck in your head by me posting it here. I guess the song is one of the better ones to have stuck in your head.
Adoption Interview Project 2011
The adoption blogger that I follow from Production, Not Reproduction is calling for anyone who may from time to time blog about adoption. Since this was me, I was all ears! She is inviting anyone who blogs about adoption to participate in the 2011 Adoption Interview Project next month. November is Adoption Awareness Month. If you are one who follows Adoption blogs you may have already known about November.
I would love for you all to participate in this project as well. I will post the link to the directions on how to sign up and all!! Click here for more info.







